hey

so these past few days i kinda just forgot about everything. i forgot about restricting, i forgot about watching what i eat, i just forgot. it wasn't like 'oh i forgot to do the wash.' i put it out of my mind. i don't know why i did that thought because those few days i was gone i managed to consume 4 super blow pops, a box of lucky charms, a vanilla ice cream cone, and monstrous bowls of soup. i was living life how i did when i was 103.

when i was that little i could have an ice cream cone, if i gained 5lbs over night i'd still be under 110 and then it'd be easy to get that 5lb off.

i have no idea what i was thinking. i even thought about not coming back here, dumb idea. i think if i can maintain 127 till i get my teeth pulled, i'll be able to drop some weight and break 127 from the pain killers and soft food diet. BUT if some how i break 127 by then i'll be so happy.

the 25th and the 26th i'm going to atlantic city. there is going to be a lot of shopping and laying out in the sun and going to the boardwalk. i want to feel good about my body by then. thats about 22 days away or something. i'm going to do a quick calculation of how much weight i can lose if i stick to the 2468 till then.

i should be 10.8 lbs lighter by the time i go to atlantic city if i really stick to the 2468 diet. i'm sure as hell going to try my best. i really hope i could be less than 120 by school starts. it just might be able to pull that off.