im retarded and can't follow a diet.
binge binge binge.. (i don't purge)
alright. so, i've been LONELY as FUCK these past few days. i don't cry about anything, but within the past 20 mins i have shed some tears about being lonely and having to actually start my life in 2-3 years (moving out for college.) i'm one of those kids who loves their parents. i love both equally but something about not seeing my daddy every day just chokes me up so bad. i love him.
i think i've been binging because i'm lonely and sad.
you're probably thinking "just hang out with some friends or how about your boyfriend?" well if only it was so easy. i live far away from any of my friends and my mom is too sick and always working to be carting my ass all around new jersey. "what about your dad?" he works till 4:30 - 5pm.
honestly i think poppin those codone a few nights ago made me unhappy. just thinking "what would daddy think if he found out his little girl was poppin some oxy?" i was over whelmed with guilt. i just wanna do my best for him always. i still feel really guilty about that. im supposed to be over my pills. a third of me is excited to get my wisdom teeth out for the pills, a third is excited because i wont be able to eat alot, and the last remaining third is concerned i'll get hooked.
ill figure something out. i just need to feel happy again..any one know any mood boosters? things to do that make you happy? or any herbs or extracts that boost moods?
when i feel this way i lose alot of sleep. i barely slept at all last night and i'm gonna be up late tonight most likely. probably finishing redecorating my room
I can recommend St. John's wort. It is a natural anti-depressant and it works really well. I take it just in the winter though. You have to be cautious with sunlight.
ReplyDeleteDon't be sad about leaving your parents, you'll be ready to leave them someday. I know it can be frightening. It is part of our eating disorder, that we don't want to grow up (at least for myself, i don't know if that can be generalized).
best wishes, xo
ps. thanks for suscribing
thanks i'll look for that stuff and yes eventually i'll be ready to leave. thanks for your kind words
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