so im fasting today and there's only about 5 more hours left of the day. i feel pretty good so far, and yes, hungry.
i'm not sure if im gonna fast tomorrow, it was not the plan but i realized today in the shower that if i really wanna have the body i want, i must kick my ass in gear. if i was be in the low 120s by Christmas (my bday as well), i gotta work it. if i wanna be under 120 by Softball season (i want the other girls to be jealous like how i was), i have to work even harder. and if i want to be 110 or less by summer, oh my gosh i have to work.
yesterday i was 130. by tomorrow i hope im 128 or 127. if im not i will fast again. in fact i might fast till im 125 or 124. gosh its going to be hard, especially since my dad ate all my protein mix. :'(
also today i realized that i'm not as good of a person as i thought i was. i went to confession and to remember most of my sins i had to write them down. there wasn't alot but they were kinda bad, or at least i was ashamed of them :( and in the end i forgot about a sin so i felt guilty about that all day. and then i ended up lieing a few times later and iwas mad at myself for not even staying "sin free" for like an hour. geez.
size wise i can "fit" into a size 1. not comfy and i can't really sit. meh. i know i have to be under 113 to fit in my favorite pair of jeans, Hollister size 1. Those jeans are my white whale, and i need to conquer them.
i hope i can do it. actually i know i can do it.
1) i feel like we're the same person right now, cuz I want to lose 10 pounds by christmas, and when I went to church yesterday I realized that I sin all the time and don't give God near as much love and respect as he deserves, and i felt terrible for betraying God so much all the time. But the good thing about that is that you can always make yourself better and its not even that hard, and somehow God still loves us so much, regardless of how much we suck :) haha
ReplyDeleteyou reach towards those jeans, girl! and if you can fit into those i know you'll be hot, hollister 1's are so tiny!
You can do this! You seem so motivated and such a strong person! You're close, and you will get there soon! I just know it!
ReplyDeleteDon't feel too bad hun, no-one is perfect and everyone slips up. It doesn't make you a bad person, no one bit <3
Chin up beautiful
xox
thank you guys so so much. hearing your words of encouragement and kindness really make this so much easier :)
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